Whaaat's happening,

I am in Nairobi once again, and have now met up with Paiger to start our big overland trip. We are worried that we may have joined a group that would more appropriately find itself at a Golden Girls reunion party, but that is merely based on Paige hearing some elderly folk say something about a long trip to South Africa in our hotel, so we are cautiously optimistic that we are either wrong or that they will drop out of the trip quickly to attend said Golden Girls reunion party.

My trip with my parents is now over, and it was great. We saw Tarangire, Ngorongoro Crater and the Serengeti, and spent the last 5 days in Tsavo, which is famous for its "man-eaters of Tsavo" which were 2 lions that ate 28 Indians and approx 100 Africans because they had absesced teeth and couldn't hunt normal animals anymore. As I understand it, Val Kilmer then arrived on the scene and single-handedly saved the day. Or that may have just been the case in the movie about it, "The Ghost and the Darkness" but I wouldnt be surprised if it was actually Val who took care of business in real life.

We stayed at Finch Hatton's in Tsavo, he is famous for being the lover of some broad in some movie called "Out of Africa." Great place, in which I almost lost a hand when I was marvelling at the fake crocodiles they had by the hippo pool that our tent overlooked, when I soon realized that they were real crocodiles.

I've really enjoyed my 2 weeks here, seeing many amazign animals and meeting some really great people. African people love it when you use their language and smile and be polite and shake hands. I've really improved my politeness over the years, especially from when I was 3 when I told a man at the video store to "go fuck himself" when he reached for my favourite movie, "Little Women (cartoon version)" I always cried when Jo cut her hair.

Anyways, we are off to Uganda tomorrow for 2 weeks, where we are going whitewater rafting and tracking mountain gorillas through the Bwindi Impenetrable Forest.

Laaater

Well, if you have ever wondered what it is like when an elephant takes a piss, I have a first hand account for you right here. I would most liken it to a fire hydrant exploding, but it may have actually been one of the most impressive thing I've seen since I've been there. At the same time, maybe the memory is skewed because shortly after the elephant finished pissing, he and several others became very mad at us and decided to mock charge our jeep, which had a flat tire, and as Lucas our guide was trying to get us away, we noticed that the elephants had also recently pulled a tree down across the road. anyways, we made it around the tree, through the woods and away safely, but let me just note that whoever made Dumbo such a nice character was either full of shit or had severe problems.

Other than that, things have been quite tame. We have been on safari in Tarangire, Ngorongoro Crater and the south of the Serengeti for the past week. I must say that I never expected to experience some of the things we've seen, and it has already been an incredible experience and I'm only a week in to the Africa part of my trip. Yesterday we followed a cheetah for 45 minutes while it walked around and gave the eye to some gazelles, which was almost as exciting as when we watched one actually chase down and kill a gazelle. The day before that, watched a leopard in a tree and hippos playing in a pool, etc... The people here are great though, always big smiles. Numerous times our little flights from park to park havent showed up at all, so they usually just send us with a different airline (imagine how great that would be in north america). Of course, in one incidence that "other airline" was a guy named Matthew with his own 4 seater plane who happened to be hanging around the airport. Midway through the trip he told us he was actually the janitor but had always wanted to fly, and then pretended to fall asleep a few times. I think that breaks some sort of international law, but what the hell I liked him the minute he told me the inflight movie would be "snakes on a plane."

There have been many mixups with learning Swahili words. I recently learned that the word rafiki, which i thought meant beer, means friend. So for the first 5 days of the trip, I kept asking if "I could please have a friend?" The person would usually look at me with pity and then usually bring me a beer, i think mostly because they felt so sorry for me. Oh well, couldve been worse, I could have been asking for something much more embarrassing.

We stayed in the definition of the middle of nowhere in the south of the Serengeti for the past 3 days. I'd be reading out by my tent and look up and 4 warthogs would be eating grass 5 feet away,then I would have to dive into the tent because I would hear African (i think killer) bees coming. Every night you have to be walked back to your tent by a Maasai warrior so that you dont get impaled by a buffalo, although I dont really know what they would do with their tiny ass spear. We thought we heard one heading back one night and I was about to trip him and run, but at the last second it wasn't a buffalo, just some monkeys. You also had to lock your tent zippers together because babboons come up every night and try to unzip it and come in, which they are actually capable of doing.

anyways, another week in kenya with my folks and then i start my big overland trip which goes to uganda first to see the gorillas of the impenetrable forest (how good is that name). send some messages, hope all is well.
dunc

Hello from the Ngorongoro Crater Lodge, yet another place I do not deserve to stay. My time is short, but it was a shock to find internet here anyways, so what the hell. So far we have spent a night in Nairobi, one in Arusha, 2 nights sleeping in the coolest treeforts ever in Tarangire National Park, and the last 2 at Ngorongoro Crater. It has been a bit of a shock getting used to things here, and especially since I thought I had prepared myself for African culture when I watched "The Air Up There" with Kevin Bacon ebfore I came.

We arrived in Tarangire on a small landing strip that can only be described as the middle of fuckin nowhere. In fact, the noise from our airplane scared the zebras into moving off the runway. We were met by our guide Moses, who immediately liked me because his English teacher's name was Duncan, and I immediately liked him because he said he was from the Aeraqw tribe, but was not friendly with Saddam. We then went on a safari for the day, as we have been doing the past 4 days, and it was absolutely mind-blowing. When you first see something, you lose your shit. SWEET JESUS THAT IS AN ELEPHANT, MY GOD THE ELEPHANT IS NEAR ME. As things settle down, you're still excited, and then, SWEET GOD THE ELEPHANT IS DRINKING WATER!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? WATER!

I could only imagine the stuff we've seen before I came. Elephants, zebra, warthogs, lions, rhinos, cheetahs, and the list goes on and on. Let me tell you, Dumbo, Chester and Simba sure as shit didn't prepare me for being 5 feet from elephants, cheetahs and lions. Ngorongoro Crater is especially amazing. In our two days here we have seen a lion eat a wildebeest from maybe 8 metres away tops, a cheetah chase down and kill a gazelle, a male lion doing it like they do on the discovery channel with like 5 female lions all lying on there back, etc... Also some amazing African sunsets with plains of elephant, zebra and wildebeest in front of it, very rad.

Since I'm with my mom and dad, I am staying in places that are much too nice for me, which should especially be a shock since everyone I've told about my overland trip from Kenya to South Africa after this has told me the vehicle we drive in is a glorified cattle truck. Staying in such nice places, I often feel like a total asshole and wish I was doing something more compassionate, but truthfully the people here make it OK. If you show how much you care about their culture, they really warm to you, and I appreciate that alot.

Anyways gotta run. The other day as we drove back to our lodge I put on my ipod to relax. Obviously the first song that came on shuffle was "REal Mothafuckin G's" by Eazy E. So, if you need to picture me in Africa, just imagine the sun setting over plains full of elephant, lions, and zebras, a gentle smile on my face, and then pumping through my head, "Mothafuck Dre, Mothafuck Snoop, Mothafuck Death Row, yo and here comes my death blooow!"

Hope all is well, send emails.

Jambo,

Just wanted to let everyone know that I am safely in Nairobi with my parents at a hotel that is much to nice to deserve me as a guest. We easily found our driver when we got off the plane and it all went smoothly. We are off to Arusha in Tanzania tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, the flight was pretty eventful because Bill from Illinois decided to travel to Nairobi despite being 96 years old, a veteran of 2 myocardial infarctions, the recipient of a pacemaker and he also had the flu and was severely dehydrated. As a result, my Dad spent several hours treating him, gave him an IV and a whole lot of other stuff. I would say that the most tense moment was when Bill started shaking uncontrollably and was unable to speak right as we were over Darfur, so we were afraid ol Bill was pretty fucked because I would say most of us were willing to let him do his thang so that we wouldnt have to enter the Sudan. Fortunately, he hung on and the paramedics met us at the gate. So ya, we are here and I am really really excited to be here and get this going. Hope all is well,

Dunc

London has been absolutely great. I get a really good vibe from this city, which is probably helped by the fact that there are so many friends here. It's probably helped also by the fact that there are so many beautiful women in England. Haha just joking, they're all ugly.

I've spent pretty much every night drinking heavily, so that has been pretty fun. And aside from Leigh's flatmates accusing me of stealing their bodywash, I think I have been relatively unannoying. I walked around London for awhile yesterday and did what you do in London, rode The Eye of London which gives you a ridiculous view of the city, saw Buckingham Palace and was not let into Westminster Abbey cuz apparently it was closed, which I thought was bullshit. Oh well, when in rome...

I would have to say one of my favourite nights was when we all headed to a Grad residence floor party where Steph's cousin lives. There were a number of characters there. If you've ever seen the movie Mr Deeds and recall the large opera singer who sings all of his responses, I think I met the person he was based on. He was skinnier and balder, but was an opera singer and chose to sing many of his responses to your questions. And then we met a prince from some country none of us had ever heard of, so he may have been lying. Steph tells me he always signs off as His Royal Highness, which I think either really pisses me off or makes me really jealous. Anyways, His Royal Highness got royally high, and was trying to make anyone who looked in his direction his princess. I declined, but I'm unsure about O'leary.

Congratulations to my friend Boner Dave on his engagement to a nice Taiwanese girl named Tina. We will now refer to them as Tiboner.

So I am heading to Africa tomorrow with my parents, for 2 weeks of travelling around Kenya and Tanzania. Then I meet with Paige and we are doing a tour which starts in Nairobi and goes thru Uganda, Tanzania, Malawi, Botswana, Zambia and South Africa and ends in mid-December. I'm thinking my internet time will be a little limited in Africa, but I'll try and let everyone know when I'm still alive. Hope everyone is well,

These are pictures from Ios and from Samaria Gorge in Crete. That is also a nice shot of my wicked rad scooter injury-ed arm.

This guy is my hero. I'm pretty sure his name is either Oswald or Francis. He stood for 20 minutes with his hand out while his wienery wife attempted to take a picture of him holding the sun. It was fantastic.



These are pictures from Santorini ie. the island of the couples. The sunset pictures are from the town of Oia, where tons of tourists go to watch the sunset and gaze lovingly into the eyes of their significant other.

Meteora monasteries in Kalambaka, northern Greece

Standard Acropolis shot


Standard Acropolis shot

Dave Levin has a job now everyone. He is now a little less like George Costanza, in that now he is only living with his parents and becoming prematurely bald, rather than living with his parents, becoming prematurely bald and being unemployed. Congrats Dave, I don't care what everyone else says, I like you. I'm now doing quite swimmingly now in London, staying with Leigh. I think her 3 housemates are really happy to have to step over me every morning passed out on the living room floor while they are on their way to work real jobs.

Crete is a pretty cool island, but certainly not the ideal place to go as a backpacker. Luckily I was in cahoots with the owner of my hotel. The deal was that if I filled out very amazing reviews of his not-so-amazing hotel, I got a cheap room. So if you are ever going to stay in Iraklio on Crete and you see a review that describes a hotel as a "rejuvenating garden of tranquility, beauty and perfection....in so many words, heaven on earth...paradise...this is where God would stay if He was vacationing in Crete," I probably wrote it and it definitely isn't true.

I was getting off the bus from Hania the other day and knocked some lady's box over while I was getting my massive bag out of the bottom. This 600 year old, 82 pound woman proceeded to ream me out in Greek for about 5 minutes, so I'm pretty sure she was transporting a kidney in that box. However, since that was the most scared I've been on my trip, I guess that is pretty good since I've been travelling alone.

I went and checked out Knossos, which is just outside Iraklio and was the ancient kingdom of King Minos. The major drawing card of this place was that it formally housed the mythical creature known as the minotaur. Is there anything wrong with that sentence to anyone. That's like thousands of people flocking to Sesame Street in a few thousand years to visit the site where the mythical "Big Bird" was housed. Anyways, old Knossos was pretty much just that...old, and not much else. But I suppose that I'm not overly interested in that kind of stuff so I may be a little too harsh on it. Crete was good though, and I ran into a buddy I met on Ios so it was good having someone to hang out with.

London is great, but as is well-documented it is really fackin expensive. Also to prove that my backpack is the biggest thing you've ever seen, I was in the tube station and it was too big to fit thru the gates. As I kept trying to jam myself thru, this voice from above came booming down with, "Would the young gentleman with the largest bag I have ever seen please proceed to the gates on the lefthand side."

The first night in London was hilarious. We drank at Leigh's and then Oleary, Laura, Jordan and I went out. Surprisingly, London closes down really early and all the bars were done around midnight. So we went and found an after-hours bar called 151, which apparently stands for the-bar-where-in-the-closet-businessmen-come-to-hit-on-unsuspecting-oleary, which was pretty enjoyable for the rest of us and not so much for him. The clientele, other than the aforementioned well-dressed, bad-intentioned business guys, seemed to be restricted to the place where people come to dance with their call girls. Also, Aaron, I did my best to pretend I was Laura's boyfriend so that the hilarious wiener that kept dancing by himself in front of a mirror would stop coming up to her and telling her to sneak away to the bar so they could be alone, but apparently my substantial neck beard was not enough to scare him away.

Hope everyone is well, I'll try and toss some pics up.

Ello loves,

Let me say, road rash really takes a day or so to become mind-numbingly painful, but here we are. But as my good friend Ferg reminded me in an email, I probably should have learned how to adequately ride a bike before I stepped on a motorbike. Overall Ios was amazing, I would definitely recommend it. It was crazy enough and it was the end of the season with only a few bars open, I can only imagine what it would be like in the summer. I am in Crete now, and it is a pretty cool place, although I think this is where all the old couples come after they leave Santorini. It is the most southern island in Greece, and since it is pretty far away it has a bit of a different culture than the rest of the country. Oh and it has trees, they arent very big but it's an improvement over everywhere else in Greece where they apparently got rid of all their trees in favour of olives thousands of years ago. I remember that from a class I took, Queen's was worth it.

Today I went and hiked Samaria Gorge, which was absolutely amazing, a very beautiful place. However, I do feel as if I was a special guest of a retirement home's bi-decade field trip. I felt like I was hiking through Flanders Field as 86 year olds were lying on every possible piece of real estate on either side of the trail, with an extra special pileup at the top of the one 10 metre section that went up. However, the bonus of this excursion is that I now know how to read someone's face when it says, "holy shit you are under 70." See, look how much I'm learning mom.

I've been reading tons of good stuff. Right now am reading "Cradle to Cradle" which is basically about how badly the world makes its products and more generally about how fucked the world is. It's a really important book that everyone should read, seriOUS. I've also read "Three Day Road" about 2 native snipers in the first world war, and "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell, both of which were great.

I cant wait for hockey to start so I can win all of my pools as usual, mostly cuz blake cant step up and make the right choices under pressure. anyways to london on the 4th for a week, and then to kenya on the 12th. oh ya and fuck you joyce.