Bangkok is a very busy city with bad air, a lot of people and even more tuk tuks. And, it is really really hot. It seems to be stuck between the East and the West, but in many ways, or at least the area we are in, it is more Western than most Western cities. The best/worst part is that Thailand is truly the "land of smiles". everyone is really really friendly, but it is always hard to tell if they are being genuine or are attempting to screw you into going to their cousin's haberdashery where they will offer you a friendly/disingenuous glass of something and you will wake up 15 hours later with 6 new suits, gold teeth, a new wife/husband named suvaranabuumi and about 2000 less dollars in your bank account. Actually, I have already been to about 6 different shops against my will just because of the time-tested scams of bangkok. Why a tuk tuk driver would believe that I would buy a diamond ring for Dave is beyond me, but there i was at 2 different jewellry stores today.

Actually, because I now naively see myself as a reasonably well-seasoned traveller (I crashed a hot air balloon in Kenya, beat that you hippy bastard), I consequently naively believed that I could see most of the scams coming. Or, at the very least, I would let myself be scammed into touring a few crappy shops but avoid downing a shot of snake blood offered up by a toothless man in a suit with a single golden tooth. The typical scam here involves a smooth talker who knows more about your home country than you do who informs you that the attraction you have come to see is closed, but he can arrange a very cheap tuk tuk ride to see some other attractions around the city. We were approached by a very nice guard at the Grand Palace who informed us we wouldn't be allowed in because we were wearing sandals, but that we should definitely go check out the giant standing buddha, "thai fashion" and some other stops. and wouldn't you know it, there was a tuk tuk waiting to take us to just those places for only 10 baht! ironically enough, another pair of travelers came up to me as we were getting in the tuk tuk to ask if we had been told that the grand palace was closed. i happily informed them that that was just a scam and they could go in, and then proceeded to continue being a sucker. One tourist attraction and 16 shops later, we ran away from our tuk tuk drivers without paying and are probably now wanted on the streets of bangkok.

Anyways, overall Bangkok is pretty OK. For pretty much every place I've been, I have found that the one big city in the country is usually incredibly dirty, poor and depressing. Bangkok is definitely the first two of those, but the people all seem so happy that it isn't such a bad place. Of course, we do have a pool on the roof of our hostel that has improved my mood immeasurably and may be tainting my opinion, but I like it. We went on a boatride on the river and its canals that course through the city. This boat ride was this country's way of reminding me how lucky we are, etc... as I watched people brush their teeth with and swim in the impossibly disgusting brown water. And man, the hippy travellers dominate this city. Mom, you would have disowned 90 percent of the people here. Anyways, even if you love or hate tattoos you have to agree that getting a giant skull drawn on your back is a poor idea at best.

So, the reason we have spent a few days in Bangkok was to get visas for the country of Myanmar. The choice to travel to Burma wasn't taken lightly. As you may or may not know, the country is currently ruled by an extremely repressive military junta. The country's rightly elected democratic leader, nobel prize winner Aung San Suu Kyi, is currently under arrest for the 3rd time for no legitimate reason. Many of its tourist sights were built and restored with slave labour and the country's standard of living is among the lowest in the world. Also, Aung San Suu Kyi has asked people not to travel to the country because it may legitimize the rule of the government. However, I've looked into it a lot, and I think it is OK to go there if you are very careful where and how you spend your money. Paige was there in October, and after talking to locals, etc... it was clear that they really appreciated travellers coming there, spending their money, enjoying the very unique culture and getting the word out about the terrible government. However, travellers who go on package tours are often giving money directly to the government, and this is the sort of travel that should be avoided. But, let's be honest, basically the only reason I'm going is to shamelessly quote Dr. Evil..."My childhood was pretty typical really, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons..."

Anyways, a few things are sort of standing in the way of us enjoying ourselves/getting our of Myanmar alive. First of all, money. I was just talking to a guy who came back from Burma early because nobody would accept his American dollars for exchange because they thought they were counterfeit because they weren't the new kind of coloured ones. And one small rip or crease means nobody will accept it. We have one new 50 dollar bill between the two of us, so it might be a long two weeks. Secondly, the transportation is a little not good. Paige's favourite stories to tell from Myanmar involved busrides in excess of 24 hours spent next to men who had wet themselves and women who had vomited on themselves, the fact that toilet paper is a serious luxury there and that the toilets on the transportation are usually a hole emptying out onto the track and/or road. Oh ya, and the major highway is basically a 1 and a half laner that is basically one large 400 mile stretch of monster truck rallies. Thirdly, an outbreak of bird flu has people a little skittish. Oh ya, and there are no ATMs or credit cards accepted anywhere. Oh and we arent staying at hostel tonight, but just going out on khaosan road and then getting a ride to the airport to sleep there. So, ultimately I think things are all set up to go really really well.

Myanmar still isn't big on "electronic mail" so that will be interesting. We are there for 2 weeks and then head to Kuala Lumpur to take Malaysia by storm with the one and only MVP Allan Ottaway, who is currently savind the world one refugee at a time with the UN.

And i guess if things dont go well, i like you all alot.
in the immortal words of J. Peterman "You may know it as Myanmar Elaine, but it will always be Burma to me."