PHILIPPINES, PART 2

Basketball is the first, and possibly only, sport of the Philippines (unless you think cockfighting is a sport, because if so then that is far and away the first sport. Everyone here loves a good cockfight). Socially, it is very important for a young person to be able to ball, because otherwise you just aren't worth knowing. On top of that, it's important to play with some serious showtime skills. Scoring baskets is fucking boring, but scoring a one-handed no-look alley-oop with your eyes closed on every 15th attempt is much better than scoring on a jumpshot. And on top of that, it's exceptionally important to do these things while wearing flipflops, because nobody can afford running shoes. Of course, nobody told that to the stupid white asshole who wears running shoes and can't score one-handed no-look alley-oops . Needless to say, things were a little hostile for the first little while I was playing ball with the neighbourhood kids, but I won them over by screaming "Muganda Ba-ba-eh" which i am told means "beautiful woman" in Tagalog, every time i scored a basket.

My surrogate family is a pretty crazy mix of people, and quite the bunch to learn about the Filipino culture from. In some respects, since I've read that 1 in 5 Filipinos are malnourished, they might not be the best family to learn what it is like to live here. This is because they eat, no joke, 5 huge meals a day. Mama Bueno is the head of the family, and I think possibly the city of Lucena. She is a city councillor and with an upcoming election, she is in full campaign mode, which seems to involve eating 18 extra meals each day with anyone she meets. She is extremely jolly, quite large and pretty hilarious. Sample conversation: "Canada has the moon, yes?" "Haha yes of course Mama Bueno, but we don't have the sun" "Oh yes, this is what I mean. Sooo cold in Canada!" Her son Jojo is a 30 year old pirepighter with limited English, which is why we've had this conversation 16 times: "You like to see my gun?" "Oh ya, that's a nice gun." "Yes....so....you take a Filipina woman tonight?" "Uh no thanks Jojo." Another one of her sons is Jon aka Deboy, which means Playboy I'm told. He is the Tony Soprano of the Philippines as he smokes 3 packs a day, is very very large and seems to inspire the fear of everyone he walks past. He also has 5 girlfriends, which he talks about often in graphic detail.

Deboy and his 2 friends took me to a small island called Perez for the past few days. It was typically Filipino: unbelievably gorgeous, covered in tropical jungle and exceptionally poor. We stayed with his grandmother in a large concrete block house, surrounded by ancient houses built out of stark concrete and corrugated tin. We spent our time watching the PBA (Perez Basketball Association), hiking through the jungle, swimming in the ocean and shocking all the islanders with my white face. On seemingly every street there is a basketball net set up, so we played alot as well. It could have been a basketball game in any place in the world, yet it had a few stark reminders of where we were: 1) the white guy playing attracted a ridiculously large crowd 2) the purity of the game was somewhat compromised by the squeals of the pig that was being slaughtered 5 metres away from us 3) the game ended when the ball landed in the street gutter, which is a place that you never, ever want your ball to land.

At night we would sit around in a circle and drink Lambanog aka Filipino 70% moonshine with anyone who felt like joining us when they walked by, including as it turns out, the mayor. Drinking Lambanog is not for the faint-hearted or for the germaphobe. For one, it is like drinking pure gasoline. Secondly, everyone drinks out of one shot glass. This was OK until we were joined by the guy who was wearing nothing but a pair of soiled underwear and a faded pink hat inscribed with "hang loose". We were also drinking with Deboy's 900 year old looking, but probably only about 60 year old great-grandmother. She didn't speak a word of English to me for 2 days, but then came up with 2 gems out of nowhere: "I think you have 3 wives in Canada" and "You have very beautiful blue eyes, like my dog". The next morning, I woke up and caught the sunrise, which was just unbelievable. Unfortunately, this experience was somewhat ironically tarnished by the anguished squeals of yet another slaughtered pig.

The other day I also got taken to a Filipino wedding. I would say it was one of the more awkward experiences of my life. On the night before the wedding, they have a reception where the bride and groom must dance in the middle of the room by themselves for a very, very long time. While they do this, the guests drink a bunch of wine and walk up randomly to pin money on their shirts. Now imagine the looks on the faces of the young couple when the random white guy they had never met walked up and tried to pin money on them, in the process pricking his own finger and beginning to bleed, making an awkward face and then walking away. Priceless.

On a more serious note, the poverty and the lack of life opportunities here are once again difficult to see. For example, when I was sitting with 4 guys the other night, all in their early 20s (the underwear guy hadnt shown up yet), 2 of them had kids, 1 had a baby on the way, and the other was Deboy who has 5 girlfriends and must have a kid coming soon from somewhere. This country is deeply Christian, and abortion is illegal here, and so even though each of them would have liked to abort despite their religiosity, they couldnt and now have to provide for a young family. Furthermore, 2 of the guys said they would love to immigrate somewhere such as Canada or maybe the States, but the process makes it extremely difficult or it just takes far too long to get a visa (like 5 or 10 years for some places). It was very sobering to listen to, although not sobering enough to nullify the effects of the Lambanog. Just another reminder of how lucky we are to at least have options, if anything, and also that maybe we should reconsider our feelings about immigration policies...
Pictures coming soon...