If, for some reason, you don't think pollution and air quality and all that global warming jazz is a big problem, then I would implore you to get your ass to Asia. I mean, with Al Gore doing his thang and all of the recent attention coming to global warming, I would hope that the movement is going to gain some momentum and make some serious changes. But, as I read Tony Blair remark, even if Britain lowered its emissions to Kyoto standards right now, China's pollution would more than make up for it within a few years. Extend that time period abit, and I am sure Asia would more than make up for any changes made by the rest of the world. And seriously, atleast in Taipei, the pollution is stifling. I walked up a flight of stairs today out of the subway station and found myself gasping for air as i walked down the street. Now, this may be as big a condemnation about my level of fitness as it is about air quality, but I am going to take the typical route and blame it on Asia.

I have tried to play basketball a bit. It is pretty funny because we don't live in an area that usually attracts many white people, so I am quite the novelty at the playground where I play. In fact, I sometimes even draw a bit of a crowd, which is especially frustrating when I feel the pressure and embarrass myself, sigh. The other day I was getting eyed by a group of 15 year olds who then invited me to play with them. So, before we started to play, they introduced themselves as Taiwan Shaq, Taiwan Iverson, etc... So, I introduced myself as Canada Arvydas Sabonis, but I don't think they got the joke. Before we played a real game, they wanted me to play against their best player, who was, of course, named Taiwan Kobe (Kobe Bryant is a demigod in Taiwan, apparently that whole rape thing didn't make it here). So they forced me to play 1 on 1 with Kobe, and I am proud to say I beat him, no big deal.

I got the idea from Maloney about how to really confuse people here. He does it in Shanghai by asking someone if they "know Mr. Chang, he is friends with Mr. Lee and Mr. Wong?" Here, all you have to do is ask if someone knows a girl named Candy, as every third girl has for some reason have chosen that name. On that note, more amazing names: Slevin (as in the movie Lucky Number Slevin ie. he named himself after a horse in a movie), and my new favourite, Bear.

On the note of all the really weird/pathetic foreign white people who live here, allow me to give you a sample of some conversations I've had about their futures with them, no joke:
#1:
Me:"So man, how long are you going to stay in Taiwan for?"
Him:"Oh I think I'm going to stay for the whole year of my contract, one of my goals when I got here was to learn the language before I left."
"Oh ya, and how long have you been here for?"
"About 8 months"
"So how long have you been taking Chinese lessons for?"
"Oh I haven't started yet."
"Uh, you know it's a pretty hard language to learn, right?"
"Ya you're right, I may have to stay a few extra months."

#2:
Me: "So what are you planning to do after you leave Taiwan?"
Him: "Oh I think I am going to go to law school."
"Have you written the LSAT yet?"
"What's that?"

#3:
Me: "So, why are you in Taiwan?"
Him: "Oh I am starting a business in the States with my buddy, but he is busy for the next few years so I came here until that starts up."
"What's he busy with?"
"Oh he has a family and he's an executive for Cisco."
"Oh wow, so what's your business plan?"
"We are going to model people's backyards to look like Fenway Park."
"Uh, oh, that's...interesting."
"Ya, my friend is just taking a while to leave his job, so I've been here for awhile."
"Oh ya, why is he reluctant?"
"Well he has 3 new kids and a $300 000 a year job, so I guess that's why."
"Uhhh ya, you don't say? So he's been reluctant to leave his high-paying executive job and risk providing for his family so he can start a business changing people's backyards to look like Fenway Park? Weird."
"I know!"

"When you don't know whether to do something or not, just think about what you want to look back on when you're an old fart. I always think of myself in a rocking chair, and a little smile comes to my lips when I think of what I did when I was young."
-Zanzibar Chest by Aidan Hartley