i am sitting in heathrow on an 11 hour layover which is part of my 43 hour journey home. we were in the harbour in capetown the other day, and saw one of those signs with the distances to places, and apparently vancouver is the farthest away major city in the world, at 16912km. so, after flights from CPT to joburg and then to london, i am about halfway in and i am pretty bored but looking forward to getting home.

i last left you in the impossibly pronounced oudtshoorn, the ostrich capital of the world and possibly even the universe. if it aint ostrich, it aint oudtshoorn. their pens have ostrich feathers attached to them, they eat only ostrich eggs, and instead of a meat section on menus, they have ostrich. unfortunately, before i got to partake in ostrich gras, i got violently ill, potentially from eating some bad ostrich. however, despite interrupting all of those early morning bathroom seekers who had to step over me while i was sprawled uncomfortably on the floor next to the toilet after relieving myself of my ostrich, i decided to persevere and see waht the town had to offer. so we went and saw the cango caves, one of "seven wonders of southern africa". if you ever go there, it is a pretty amazing place, not that i enjoyed it because i was violently vomiting in a corner. the problem with defacing this national treasure was not really the act in itself, but more the obvious nature of it. i dont know if any of you have ever thrown up in a cave before, but the sounds really reverberate. paige said nobody heard me, but i can't see how they didnt, especially with all the head-tilt-aw-are-you-ok-dears i got from the 98% grandma populations that was simultaneously touring the caves. anyways, the sad part was that i was then unable to visit an ostrich farm, altho apparently i was too heavy to ride one anyways. paige got to tho, and she was complimented on her skills at staying on the ugly beast. i hope she wrote that compliment down to remember.

after otown, we headed to a place called mossel bay. we met a guy earlier on our trip named matt who told us "we had to stay in this abandoned train that was right on the beach." despite the fact that he finished the potatoes before i could get any at a dinner, right in front of me too that bastard, we took his advice. they made us pay up front and made it very clear there wre no refunds, which was smart of them because we paid before realizing we were staying in a train! picture a closet with 2 physics-defying beds fit in there, with a cockroach graveyard beneath for good measure. any doubt i had that i hated matt and he evidently hated me came when we went to see this post office tree he was raving about (yes, yet another tree that south africans were bragging about). the story was that an explorer tied a shoe to a tree in the alte 15th century to tell another explorer some message about some other explorer who died. so, it was just a big tree sitting there, and then we read the sign that extolled the virtues of the wondrous tree before trailing off with, this "may or may not be the right tree." you are on my list matt whoever you are. incidentally, things i've learned on this trip that really piss me off: people who over enunciate what they are saying to the point where it sounds like they think everyone is in kindergarden; when you get a small sandwich or cookie at a shop and are given 26 napkins; this 30 year old child who works at the toy store across from the computer i am currently on who has been playing with a remote control car for over 2 hours and keeps hitting me in the feet with it; african caeser salad, which is not normal caeser salad; the dutch (ok, i'm joking... well only a little).

so we finally made it to capetown, which was potentially the most amazing city i have ever been to. we stayed in a hostel that had a perfect view of table mountain, which is just the most amazing icon a city could have. we spent several days just walking around the city, mostly at the waterfront. took a boat ride out into the harbour for a view of the city. we then hiked up table mountain, which was as hard as advertised. at one point we strayed off the path, and i tried to do a little rock climbing to get us back to what i thought was the path. however, when i did this i happened upon some actual rockclimber at the base of a cliff who looked at me as if i was batshit loco, and advised me to turn around before i killed myself. we eventually got up, but it was really foggy. so, we took a cable car up again the other night to watch the sunset up there, just the most unbelievable view i've ever seen. the 12 apostle mountains on one side stretching out into the ocean, the lit up city on the other side. i cant recommend coming to capetown enough. we also did a cape peninsula tour, saw some penguins, rode some bikes, got sick again, etc... it was pretty rad. unfortunately getting sick again prevented me from going skydiving over capetown, which had been my dream the whole time, but oh well, my ma is happy.

so ya, i have now left africa and it is the most bizarre feeling to be heading home. south africa surprised me on so many levels. apparently it is the 3rd most biologically diverse country in the world, which isnt at all surprising. the scars of apartheid are still evident in so many ways, but i give credit to the vast majority of the people, who always talk about the past and have embraced the important history of their country. just in travelling through the country a bit, it was amazing to see how pronounced the income gap still is in so many ways tho. despite things such as the empowerment movement, which is basically encouraging entrepreneurial ventures by all races, it does appear that there are still so many problems. for example, every single hostel we stayed in was owner/managed by white english or afrikaners, while often the help was in the form of black people. the slums are in some ways more depressing than in other countries in africa, because the divergences in living conditions can change back and forth as you drive just a few kilometres, from squatter camps to mansions and back again. the slums in the cape flats are some of the most vast and squalid in the world. south africa is so beautiful, with such a volatile past and with its amazing resources it has so much potential; it was really just interesting to spend a few weeks there and soak it all in. with a few notable exceptions, the people were excellent and kind, and i would return in a heartbeat. however, if you are looking for an authentic african experience, i think uganda or tanzania would be more prudent, because south africa in many ways is just another european vacation.

overall, i guess i am just in shock that it is all ending. ive had some of the most incredible experiences and am sad it is coming to an end. however, i think one of the reasons travelling is so important is that it really makes one appreciate that they are lucky to come from where they come from. looking forward to getting home, muchlovedunc

so i am in a place that is somehow called oudtshoorn. i love the afrikaner language, it is like german except way funnier to listen to, it is hard to explain, but if you ever hear it you will love it. i would most liken it to listening to siegfried and roy talking excitedly, except it is everyone doing it. hilarious.

i am sorry if on my last post, which i intended to be a heartfelt thought piece on africa, was a little disjointed. while i wrote it, the aforementioned homosexual concierge at my hostel very graphically conversed with his ex-boyfriend about the good and bad times of their relationship, which then gave way to an even graphic-er (?) deconstruction of the concierge's more recent sexual adventures with members of what i think sounded like a travelling circus. sigh. my apologies.

heading home in 6 days, which is pretty unbelievable after over 3 months away. south africa has really blown me away, i guess partially because i wasn't expecting that much from it in terms of physical beauty, which is pretty stupid since it may be the most picturesque country i've been to yet. However, the difference between this country and every other one we have been to is blatant. Developed extensively, highrise buildings in the cities, air conditioning, fast food places, etc... Even the corrugated tin roof and cardboard houses are substantially nicer, although I suppose all of that shouldnt be surprising. We spent a day in Kruger National Park, which is normally a highlight for other people, but instead for me was very uneventful and very wet. after getting the hell out of johannesburg, we took a bus south to durban, the 3rd largest city in south africa, on the coast. while there i got to see a movie (!), casino royale, which was great, despite the hilarious siegfried and roy-esque banter from behind us. we spent half a day getting toured around against our wishes by a former teacher from the uk, who evidently went on vacation and never went home; i think, against the wishes of the owners of the hostel, who he no longer pays yet continues to live with in exchange for these awkward tours for unwilling patrons. so we went to a water park without paying, snuck into a restaurant to view the fish and sharks in its water tank, and drove to a free art gallery. evidently he doesnt like spending money, which he spent the entire ride bragging about.

since then, we have been taking the bus along the famous garden route, along the coast of south africa. we spent a few days in one small town, hiking around the tsitsikamma national park and found it eerily similar to bc. for some reason, atleast 3 different towns have found it prudent to place in huge letters on their maps, and on signs everywhere in the city, directions to their very own "GIANT TREE,". so i urge everyone to come here and see these very normal-sized trees, apparently it would make the people here happy.

i recommend reading the zanzibar chest by aidan hartley, one of the best books ive read in ages. we head to mossel bay tomorrow, where we get to stay in an abandoned train hostel thingy. the town is also famous for having the first ever post office in southern africa, which is apparently a tree as well. if this doesnt sound exciting, i agree with you, but im thinking capetown should be a good time. hope all is well muchlovedunc

hello from one of those most dangerous places on earth,

thought you'd like that opening mom. so i am in johanessburg, which actually is ridiculously dangerous. fortunately we are on the outskirts of town and shouldnt have to venture into some pretty legendary places, but couldve been interesting. i am actually much more endangered by the homosexual concierge at our hostel who paige has told me keeps making lewd comments behind my back.
so the organized part of my trip is done now, and paige and i are catching a bus to durban, which is on the coast, tomorrow morning. i'm pretty happy to get out on my own for abit, and only a few weeks away from coming home for awhile.

the last week has been pretty unexciting compared to the week before that. we drove from the southern tip of zambia through botswana and into south africa. one of the things that has blown me away the most about africa has been the affect globalization has had here. who would expect to find internet everywhere, and brand names, and fast food, etc... but then a few minutes from the nice houses are the mud huts and corrugated tin roofs and the most ridiculous poverty.

botswana was potentially the hottest place ive ever been to, with temperatures typically hitting 45 degrees. botswana is a pretty interesting place in itself. it is one of the countries that has best dealt with corruption since independence in the 1960s. It is the only country in africa that actually lends money to the world bank, since it has actually spent its diamond revenues wisely. however, 47% of its adult populations is infected with AIDS and unbelievably, by the year 2010, its average life expectancy is expected to drop to 27. isn't that fucked? it is so weird reading books about this type of stuff and actually being here, especially since the actual signs of it are so hidden, but you can feel it underlying everything. that is one of the things that has affected me the most about africa. there is so much potential here for improvement, and yet everything is so unbelievably irrational. for example, there aren't many places where you can read a book about the psychotic tendencies of the dictator that ruled malawi for decades, ruining the country, stealing money and ruling it as his own personal fiefdom, then walk into a store to see a portrait the size of a wall with "lest we forget our national hero" over it.

but seriously, i can't recommend coming here enough. there aren't many places in the world that provoke thoughts, emotions and leave such an indelible mark on you as africa. and even with the amazing animals, the ridiculous adrenaline activities and the great parties, the times i will remember the most fondly are going to be learning about african culture, and interacting with the amazing people here. playing soccer on the beach with kids in malawi, having kenyan teenagers perform traditional dances for us beside a fire, learning swahili from tanzanian people, etc... such amazing times. so it's tough heading into the last few weeks here, but i can't wait to get home and see as many people as possible.

so gonna spend the next few weeks backpacking south africa, and then a ridiculous 48 hours of flying home for xmas. fire me some emails yuou bastards....

hey there everyone,

things are great. only about a week now before this part of the trip ends and we go backpacking in south africa for 2 weeks before i head home for christmas. we are either taking the bus or renting a car with 2 people we are travelling with right now: a guy tentatively named timmy the legend and his girlfriend kim, who i nicknamed killer after she started bawling when we watching a cheetah chase down and kill a baby wildebeest.

so things are great. we left malawi after an amazing 5 days there, and headed south to zambia. it really is a beautiful country, although i find myself constantly sorting through the subtle differences and obvious similarities between the many very arbitrary borders everywhere. every place we go to seems just as friendly and beautiful as the last, despite the fact that most of them have more than 100 different tribes making up the citizenry.

we arrive in zambia and after a night at a campsite drove directly to the southern border to stay in livingstone, the nearest town to victoria falls. the falls are just unbelievable, i was blown away. altho at the same time, i have actually never been too niagara falls, so maybe for canadians unlike myself they are actually not all that special

vic falls has apparently become the adrenaline capital of the world. if you aren't going on sunset cruises beyond the falls, then you are swimming on top of the falls, or rafting below the falls or just watching the falls, which is intense in itself. the past few days have been among the most ridiculous of my life though...

first of all, we went on a booze cruise the other night, which involved unlimited booze, surprisingly....it was really painful, that is all. then yesterday we went rafting on the zambezi. if you recall the names of the rapids in uganda, apparently the same people are in charge in zambia. names such as oblivion, boiling point, commercial suicide and gnashing jaws of death were everywhere. it was actually amazing, even better than uganda, i was so happy. except for the few times i almost died. in fact, the boiling point will always be with me. it was the first rapid, a few minutes in and we got taken down. i was under for what seemed like an hour and was probably 10 seconds. this was almost topped by midnight diner, rapid number 8, where we chose to go the "steak" route rather than chicken or fish, and paid for it dearly with a ridiculous near drown incident. sorry mom

today tho, was even more ridiculous. we had a full day of abseiling, feet first and head first, down a cliff next to the falls, doing a flying fox across the gorge, and the most ridiculous of all, the gorge swing. unbelievably, it is actually a longer free fall than a bungee jump, 53 metres in 3.5 seconds. it was easily the most terrifying thing ive ever done, but absolutely the most amazing feeling. the flying fox may have been more terrifying, since as you jumped off it the half drunk instructors often yelled, "oh shit" or "waaaait". haha, the one guy who jumped off tho and got thrown back because the cord was tangled probably got it the worst though.

heading to botwana tomorrow, have a good one.

muchlovedunc