Hello all,

First of all, happy birthday mommy, sorry i couldnt call but apparently the phone lines from lake malawi leave alot to be desired.

So I am now in malawi and have been for the past 5 days. It is popularly known as the 'warm heart of africa' because the people are all unbelievably friendly. The country is dominated by lake malawi, which is the 3rd largest lake in africa. We have stayed all 5 nights on 2 different wonderful beach campsites that look out onto the water. Most of our days are spent playing beach volleyball and swimming into the big waves on the lake. I've had to control my competitiveness abit in beach volleyball, but then every few plays i find myself bodychecking one of the small girls out of the way to make a diving hit, but hey, i tell myself its for the good of the team. I hear malawi has been in the news quite a bit recently, and if you're wondering, yes i saw madonna running away from a village holding 4 kids under each arm.

the first night in malawi was really great. We were staying on the beach, and ended up playing soccer for hours with a bunch of malawian children. It was really one of those great, unique and genuine experiences...and i scored the winning goal, no big deal. the game was interrupted though when madonna ran out of the bush, grabbed a kid and ran away.

entering malawi was a bit more humourous than it has been at other border crossings. my friend james, from england, was wearing a shirt that read 'IF YOU'RE EASILY OFFENDED....fuck off!' and realized it as he approached the border official. the border official then read the shirt after forcing james to remove his arms from blocking it and surprisingly started giggling. so then he stamped his passport, and as he walked away said, 'and fuck you too'. haha.

one of the highlights of my time in malawi was forcing 3 guys to play beerdie with me the other night, which means ive now played in canada, ecuador, cuba and malawi. we are slowly taking over the world.

as i said before, the people here are amazing, and also hilarious as they all have adopted popular names from north america and other very funny names. for example, i spent the other day walking around the curio markets checking out all of the amazing carvings and such they have here. after briefly negotiating with roger rabbit and puff daddy, i ignored sugar and spice and then did a deal with mel gibson trading him my sandals and ten dollars for an amazing hand-carved malawi chair.

yesterday we went walking around the village, checking out the hospital and schools and talking to people. it was a cool experience, and we saw alot of really interesting stuff. at night we went back to the village where they made us a meal and they put on a traditional dance for us. however, apparently their traditional dance is merely a whole lot of gyrating and a whole lot of awkwardness for those of us, such as myself, who were forced to join them while they danced. there are many pictures of me doing a massive awkward face while some young lady defiles my leg. however, the best part of the night was when our group was asked to perform a song for them. i obviously busted into 'you've lost that loving feeling' by the righteous brothers. as we got into the call and response stuff, all of the children started joining in, so i would yell 'BABY!' and they would respond, and then 'I NEED YOUR LOVE' 'I NEED YOUR LOVE'...'I NEED YOUR LOVE!' 'I NEED YOUR LOVE!'...'SO BRING IT ON BACK!' 'SO BRING IT ON BACK!' 'Bring back, that looooooving feeeeeeling...' etc... etc... amazing.

anyways, i hope all is well at home. off to zambia tomorrow to victoria falls and the+n on to botswana where temperatures are supposed to hit the mid40s so i am not going to deal well with that. happy bday again ma, muchlovedunc

heeey whats happenin,

time is short, but i am happy and safe in dar es salaam, the port city of tanzania. it smells like fish here and there are soooo many people everywhere.

spent the past few days in zanzibar, which is paradise. impossibly turquoise water, the muslim culture due to its past status as an arab getaway and a slave trade post, and great beaches. i was very sad to leave, i recommend it for sure.

hope you enjoy the pics, from the top we have: the greatest sunset ive ever seen, in zanzibar; a hippo in he crater; the wild hyena in arusha that bit me; a boat on the beach i stayed at in zanzibar; the WARLORD; vervet monkeys in the crater; the fighting rhinos in the crater who soon thereafter starting horning eachother in private places; a view of the crater; whoops the rhinos again; elephants; cheetha with wildebeest; dead gazelle in serengeti (hilarious)

muchlovedunc

So,
Have you ever been involved in a hot air balloon crash? Well, if you come to Africa, you may just get lucky.

So about a week ago now, we left Nairobi and headed to the Masai Mara game reserve, which is the Kenyan part of the Serengeti ecosystem. It is an absoluytely beautiful place, and I once really enjoyed our few days there. Wanting to partake in as many unique African experiences as I can, I decided to pay a shitload of money and ride the hot air balloon over the park one morning. So myself and one other guy from our group woke up at 5am to catch the balloon. The takeoff was terrifying, as I was right next to the gas tanks and the flame, and thought i was literally on fire several times. Once we got in the air though, it was perfect: the sun rising over the hills and plains of gazelles and wildebeest all around us. At around this point, the balloon starting falling and going sharply towards the aforementioned beautiful hills. He told us to put our cameras away, sit down and hold on tight. When I tried to take one more picture of our quick descent, the pilot smacked me in the head, haha. Anyways, at about this point we hit a tree, and then crash landed into a bush, but we were fine. Atleast I felt great, the other 14 riders, average age 97, didn’t enjoy it quite as much. But, since I didn’t have to pay 400 dollars, had gotten to experience the balloon, and got a great story out of it, I was in great spirits, laughing out loud and getting a bunch of pictures next to the downed balloon. Haha, great times.

Other than that, the park was great as well. We saw many lions, giraffes, elephants, etc.. But, the highlight was when we were out the first evening on a game drive, and suddenly 2 cheetahs emerged out of the bush. Using our jeeps as screens, they starting chasing a herd of wildebeest and then took one down...hard. So we watched from a few metres away as they, well, ate it. Incredibly harsh but amazing to watch.

After that, we crossed the border into Tanzania and arrived in Arusha, where they remind you with every other sign that they are the “Geneva of Africa” and were the sight of the Rwandan Genocide Tribunals. We then headed to the Serengeti and the Ngorongoro Crater with our hilarious rasta driver, Lawrence, who listens exclusively to Bob, Damien and Ziggy Marley. The Serengeti was amazing again, but we were in the middle of it, whereas I was in the South before. It was once again great, and i can faithfully report that it is definitely mating season for lions, because they were pairing off like it was everyone’s business. One highlight of that was when one couple sat beside a lone female lioness, who then got up to walk away from them. Instead of doing their business there, they then got up, walked the 10 metres over to her, and did it right in front of her. Talk about rubbing it in for the singles. The highlight of this park was definitely seeing a leopard resting at the base of the tree, although that in itself wasn’t the highlight. As we were watching it, someone looked up directly above us into th branches of a tree above the road. Staring right back at us was a gazelle, which was very dead and very broken in half, placed there by the aforementioned leopard. Our campsite was right in the middle of the bush, and we were kept up half the night by hyena screams and apparently a lion walked right by the site while we were asleep.

We then headed to the Ngorongoro Crater, which is really just one of those special places. I don’t think it could be scripted better if you wanted to. A large caldera (it’s actually not a crater) with breathtaking beauty in itself, inhabited by a whole lot of animals who are trying to beat the shit out of eachother. We saw many things there, including 4 cheetahs, hyenas, warthogs, etc... hippos playing with eachother, ostriches doing a mating dance, and many many lions, a whole lot of whom were quite pregnant. The highlight though was seeing 2 endangered (only about 24 in the crater and not too many more elsewhere) black rhinos, a male and a female, and watching them led me to believe it’s their own fault they are almost endangered. It appeared as if the male wanted to mate, and the female wasnt having it, and they were chasing eachother around for awhile and we were all having a good time watching. At this point, the male got a little madder, and starting chasing more angrily. We then watched, very shocked, as it proceeded to chase down the female, violently jam its front horn up her hoo-ha, and lift her up by...it. this happened about 6 times before she got away for good. Ridiculous/odd/surprising.

We went back to Arusha after that, where we were staying at a Snake Park for some reason. So that was good times, and then one of the guides there asked me if i wanted to see something cool. So i followed him into an enclosure very brightly, when suddenly, a hyena walked out of the door and started running at us. If i have ever been closer to relieving myself in my pants, i cant remember that time. Turns out it was a baby striped hyena, which are endangered, and the very bizarre owners of said snake park are keeping it as a pet. Since it is still young, it doesnt yet possess a killer instinct or the jaws of its older friends, which could very easily rip your leg off. Either way, it was really fucking scary, and not recommended.

We are now in Dar Es Salaam, and am flying to Zanzibar tonight. Just over a month left before i fly home on xmas eve. As you can tell, I am really in love with this place. It is everything I’ve imagined. But, I must say, it attracts some pretty bizarre characters. There is Vince, for example, a 30 year old australian on my trip. He has so far hit a maribu stork with a muffin, hit another bird with a plate when it attempted to eat his breakfast, and ran into the woods to try and find some lion cubs one of the drivers said he had heard that morning. Or, there is Warlord. She was this chinese-american lady on another trip staying at the Snake Park, who wore a full camo suit every day, smoked a pipe that was, according to people in her group, heroine she had bought in Dar, and, of course, wore a hat that said WARLORD in massive letters.

I’ve been reading alot of great books, mostly the sort of the-world-is-fucked books that i like reading. Anyways, read these books, they are really important,
End of Poverty-Jeffrey Sachs, Globalization and its discontents-Joseph Stiglitz, Race Against time-Stephen Lewis, Confessions of an Economic Hit Man-John Perkins, Cradle to Cradle-William McDonough

Hope all is well, fire me some emails. Talk soon, Dunc

 
 
 
  

Hello all,

Sorry for the lack of updates, but the interweb is hard to come by in the jungle in uganda. I am doing very well, and am back in Nairobi once again before heading south to Tanzania again on the way through Malawi, Zambia, Botswana to South Afirca.

We've spent the past 10 days in uganda, which is among the most beautiful places ive ever been to. i recommend it highgly. After we left Lake Bunyoni we headed to Bwindi Impenetrable Forest to track endangered mountain gorillas. the drive there was highly and unfortunately eventful. our matatu/cab driver manual i am pretty sure had never driven a car, and the roads we were driving were flanked by very large drops off cliffs. it was pretty terrifying, especially when he got us stuck in the mud in the middle of nowhere. fortunately in africa, the middle of nowhere means that people will emerge out of the bush to help you in exchange for money. after we miraculously freed the car for the 3rd time, and manual equally miraculously got us stuck in the exact same spot for the 3rd time, i got in an argument with a bush=emerger who i thought was saying i wasnt muddy enough and therefore wasnt doing anything. since i was absoolutely covered in mud, i argued back readily, only to realize later he was asking me for money not calling me muddy. anyways, after 2.5 hours we got out, but it was an experience.

the gorillas were truthfully one of the most amazing experiences of my life. We hiked for about an hour into the bwindi impenetrable forest and found a family of 8. we stayed with them for an hour, and they were amazing. the child gorillas just beat the shit out of eachother and the silverback, which was bigger than you could ever imagine, just slept a few metres away from us for awhile. amazing to see them tho. there are only 700 left in the world, so i recommend doing this trip sooner rather than later.

while staying at the campsite at bwindi i realized just how dangerous it can really get. i was talking to wyclef, who was not so sneakily hiding an AK 47 in his jacket as he guarded the campsite. i asked him what animals he was protecting us from and he laughed and said, "not animals, people! people come to steal you!" i said, "oooh really?" he said, "yes, i kill them for you!" i found out after i left thankfully that revels from zaire used to come into the campsites to steal tourists as hostages. anyways, wyclef got me to take a picture of us together and gave me his address to send. i have a doubt that the pciture will make it to him since his address is apparently, "wyclef, bwindi, rest camp".

after the gorillas we headed to the capital of uganda, kampala, which is a very crowded very busy city, but not with the same vibe of danger and robbery as nairobi. from there we went to a chimpanzee rehabilation island, which was much greater than i thought it would be. we watched 40 chimps or so running around, eating and well, beating the shit out of eachother. my favourite was when a baby chimp walked up to a big one and whipped a stick at its head.

after that we went back to the town of jinja. we spent half a day ATVing around and volunteered at a local school. they are right to the point with sex education in uganda. there are signs posted all over the school, my favourite being, "Do not accept gifts for sex".

After that we went whitewater rafting on the nile for a day. it was absolutely amazing, although somewhat terrifying since most of the rapids are class V. I sat in the front the whole time and we got turned over about 4 times, but very fun still. my favourite part about it are the names of the rapids, such as "Deathzone", "Overtime", "Widowmaker" and "Gnashing Jaws of Death". After all of these, we came up to one and i asked what it was called. "The Dutchman" the guide replied. "Oh, that doesnt seem as bad as the others" I replied. "It's named that because a dutchman died here."
We came up to another rapid, only a class 3 and he told us if we fell out to hold onto the boat. We asked what we should do if we let go and fell out. he said, just don't. recently someone fell out and the current held them under for 30 seconds, and when he came out was unconscious and bleeding from the ears. He told us they made him do just a half day as a result. i asked if that was because he was dead, and the guide said that ya, he tyhinks thats why.
We came up to the last rapid, simply named, "The Bad Place," a class VI. He told us we shouldnt shoot in unless we thought we could hold our breath for 45 seconds, so we chose not to. But, such a fun day.

The group i am with is pretty solid. Armin aka the Austrian Mr.Bean/Arnold Schwarzenneger continues to entertain. The other day he emerged breathless from the woods to inform us that, "he has just seen his first monkey wanking itself and then it gave itself oral sexual pleasure!!!" needless to say, he got it all on video, and needless to say, he is a very weird dude.

the traffic in africa is unbelievable, and not surprising that it is actually the biggest killer in many countries of africa i hear. there are matatus everywhere, which are basicaly minivan cabs with names. the names are hiilarious, such as "The Toronto Blue Jay," "Remember Your Mother" "Nigga Please" and "Jesus Cares". Actually driving in one is an experience. If your driver chooses to pass a car, it doesnt matter that there is oncoming traffic, the oncoming traffic just knows to swerve out of the way or drive on the dirt shoulder. in canada this would be unexpected and terrifying, here it is expected and much more terrifying.

the shirts you find in the most obscure places are also entertaining. a vancouver canucks shirt, montreal canadiens, an al macinnis calgary flames jersey and my definite favourite, a celine dion shirt.

anyways, hope all is well, muchlove dunc

Whatsup everyone,

So I am writing from a jungle campsite alongside Lake Bunyoni in Uganda, near the border of Rwanda. It has been a pretty crazy few days so far. Paige and I met up with our group on the 27th and have been making our way towards the Impenetrable Forest from Kenya since then. I’m the proud recipient of atleast 6 concussions since then, since the roads are a little less than satisfactory and often toss you against the wall with some extreme force without notice. We’ve stayed in some amazing places so far. On our 2nd nite we stayed at a lodge/campsite that was hilariously amazing considering its location and the fact that I couldn’t think anyone would ever stay there. It also had to most elaborate bar in a cave, and needless to say we, and the resident cattle, were the only ones there. We also stayed at a great campsite overlooking the Nile River at Jinja where we will go back for some classV rafting in a week or so.

Our first night was a really great experience, camping in Lake Nakuru National Park where we saw a leopard and many rhinos (which are so unbelievably huge) up close. That night I made friends with a group of Kenyan boyscouts who were camping near us, and they offered to make me a citizen of their country and even named me Oyukeke. That night they invited us over to share their fire and to entertain us. So they played African games, did some acting and best of all did an incredible traditional African dance for us. It was incredible to see, and great to have a genuine African experience that didn’t end in the people asking us for money, although the next morning they came over to take pictures with all the white girls and were blatantly staring down their shirts in the pictures, but hey nobodys perfect right.

This part of the trip only has 8 people on it, and fortunately (or unfortunately im not sure) no senior citizens. By far my favourite person would have to be Armin of Austria. Think Mr. Bean with an Arnold Schwarzenneger voice. He is incredibly accidentally funny and has kept my laughing the entire time, although I don’t think he knows why. Among other things he has leaned out our bus screaming “sto-oooop, sto-oooop” when we passed a goat on the road so he could videotape it, incredulously demanded a reason for why the Kenyan boyscouts didn’t have a dvd player to watch the videos he would send them, and berated the poor bastard that showed us how water spins different directions on different sides of the equator saying that he must be a “mystical magician warlock”. All in an Arnold voice. It’s great.

Anyways, I am really loving it obviously. The landscape in Uganda especially is so unique and so amazing. But then, you always come crashing back to earth when you see the most amazing scene of green rolling hills and mountains juxtaposed with the most ridiculous poverty, mud huts with tin roofs and almost-naked children with huge bellies. There always people who excitedly wave at us as we drive past, most of whom do so genuinely, but then there are always a few that then use that as a lead-in to reach there hand out to ask for money or just toss up a middle finger. So it is very sobering to be here, to realize how lucky we all are, but it’s an important experience. But hey, atleast I got to watch Monday Night Football in the middle of a jungle right? Send some messages, much love, dunc